Wednesday, March 7, 2012
#79 Have a baby
Holy crap I am having a baby!
Seriously, I am serious. I have gone to the doctor and I am only a few weeks along. Fortunately, my husband's boat just pulled into a port so I finally got to tell him. It has been killing me keeping it contained.
DISCLAIMER FOR ALL MY YOUNG READERS: This wasn't exactly planned, but knowing that I wasn't on birth control and we were not using any kind of preventative tools, we knew this was going to be a possibility. A baby is a beautiful thing when you are "ready" to have a baby.
You might consider me crazy when I say this, but I consider myself very lucky that I am pregnant at the beginning of a deployment because he is going to be there for the most important part (and to see me look like a cow).
As soon as I saw that first positive show up I freaked out in a good/bad way. I wasn't really sure what to think. So I waited for another week thinking that perhaps that one test I took was flawed. Then, after feeling like crap I went to Walmart and purchased four more. If the very thought of going into a store and buying a pregnancy embarrasses you, then you are not ready for a child. I grabbed some Cheetos and some ice cream bars just in case.
I went home and positive, positive, positive, and lastly....positive. Without my husband being around naturally I had horrible thoughts about how I am not ready to be a parent. After talking to several people, I have noticed that it is common to have these thoughts, which made me feel like a better person. I am not going to lie, it is hard to sit there and not know whether or not you should be excited. There will always be a part of you that will wonder how your spouse is going to handle the news. Even though I KNEW my husband was going to be excited, I was really worried about what he would say.
Thankfully, when I told him, he teared up a little bit and took the news with an excited embrace which made me feel a lot better.
I have a LOOOOOONG road ahead of me. Fear not readers, I will not let this blog turn into a "baby blog" I am going to continue to write about the things I enjoy doing and the goals I want to accomplish. I think it is important as a woman to be able to be a mother and still be yourself and not lose interest in the things you love doing. (I do follow some baby/family blogs and I think that they are great for some people so please don't take that the wrong way. Some women are just naturally born to be "loud and proud" mothers, and for now I just don't see myself going down that path. I want my child to know that he/she can accomplish anything they want to no matter what- hence me sticking to my main blog idea. I don't want them to look at this blog later in life and be like "Mom, how come you never did anything past #79?" Please, Please don't take that the wrong way!)