Tuesday, April 28, 2015

The 5 Love Languages Review

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

The 5 Love Languages would be incredibly helpful to many people I know. This is one of the only "self-help" books I have ever read, so I don't have much to compare it to. The 5 Love Languages is really a bunch of common sense outlined in a logical manner, but I think some people really don't understand love and marriage; I can understand why this book would be an eye-opener to many people.

I love the fact that The 5 Love Languages is interactive. Chapman has the reader reflect after every chapter, and he also includes two tests in the back of the book to figure out your "love language" and your partner's "Love Language". This book definitely has motivated me to try to "speak" to my husband's "love language" (as corny as that sounds). We have a pretty great marriage, but there is always room for improvement, right? I do love some of the ideas Chapmen mentions throughout, including some date-night ideas that I am going to use in the future. I realized that my primary love language is "Act of Service" and I know now that my husband doesn't help me around the house because it's not his love language. I realized that I need to communicate my love language to my husband more clearly. For example, I should say "I like when  you help me with the kids because it shows me that you love me." This book is a great tool for communicating with your partner.

Now for the negatives: I didn't like that Chapmen doesn't go into a lot of detail about people that have more than one love language, and he uses strange examples. He mentions bilingual languages briefly and then continues. I also do not like the last chapter where he is giving marriage advice to a woman who is clearly being mentally and/or physically abused and he is telling her to succumb to her husband's every will (although he is unwilling to go to therapy). Chapmen backs up this chapter using verses from the bible, so I am assuming this chapter is for the religious women that do not believe in divorce. I, however, believe that divorce is *sometimes* the best choice (especially for abused women). I would definitely not tell a woman who is being abused to have more sex with her husband because it will make him feel better. 

I would recommend The 5 Love Languages to anyone that wants to strengthen their marriage, or relationship. It's a fairly quick read so I don't see it taking a long time to actually read through.

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