Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Why I Wish the Word "Crunchy" Would Disappear

You've seen the memes. You have heard the word repetitively at baby groups. Crunchy. There is nothing that irks me more than when I hear someone refer to themselves as "Crunchy". I recently came across a Facebook post where someone was looking for a babysitter that would respect her "Crunchy" family values. When people asked what crunchy means, she was incredibly snarky. She replied that "if you don't know what crunchy means, then you are not right for the job."

I began thinking about the word "crunchy" and how much I hate the word. When I decided to cloth diaper, I had several people ask, "so you're a crunchy mom?" No. I am a mom that made the decision to cloth because it made more sense for our family. Does this mean that disposables are evil? Absolutely not. We use disposables when we travel, and at nighttime. 

It's not that crunchy is bad. It's the attitude that comes along with many crunchy moms that is bad. I feel like most "crunchy moms" that state that they are crunchy are dying for someone to ask what exactly "crunchy" is. When replying to her Facebook post, the crunchy mom in need of a babysitter stated that she is crunchy because she feeds her family local organic produce, vegetarian, breastfeeds, cloth diapers, baby wears, and makes her own cleaning supplies to avoid having chemicals in their house. After the poster defined "crunchy" there were several virtual high-fives and replies such as "I am only doing the best for my family."

But aren't we all doing the best for our family? Here are some reasons why I wish the word "crunchy" would disappear: 

Not Everyone Can/Wants to Breastfeed
The title pretty much says it all. No one cares whether you breastfeed your children or not. And if they do, then they are either your doctor, or they are nosy. I hate when others tell moms that they are "not crunchy enough" because they can't breastfeed. Women are basically pushed out of the crunchy club if their body cannot produce enough milk, or they just don't want to. 

Cloth Diapers Are Not Welcome in Most Daycares
First of all, daycare seems to be a "hush" word among crunchy moms. Most crunchy moms seem to stay-at-home and have nothing to say but negative things about daycare centers. Both my children were in daycare while I was finishing my degree. Daycares these days are great because at some places you are able to log in the daycare center on your phone and actually look at your children while you are away. All of this technology, and most daycare centers refuse to deal with cloth diapers go figure. The only exception in most places is if your child has an allergy to disposables. 
If you are a dual-working family, your children are going to be in some sort of daycare. Why would you purchase cloth diapers if you're only going to use maybe two a day? Then, there are organic and chemical free disposables that, to me, seem pretty "crunchy". But, they aren't cloth so obviously they aren't good enough. 

Co-Sleeping is Not For Everyone
If we let our two-year-old sleep in our bed no one would sleep. Ever. She gets in our bed and she is jumping around and being an insane person. She sleeps in her own bed because it's comfortable for everyone. 
Also, many mothers are on medications that would actually make it dangerous for them to co-sleep. 

Some Babies/Toddlers HATE Carriers 
My son actually can get out of his carrier. He also cries for freedom. 

I Was Actually Harassed in a Momma Group For Giving My Child a Pacifier 
When I had my first baby, I went to a momma group to try to meet new friends. I escaped quickly and quietly after one mother was genuinely appalled that I gave my one-month-old a pacifier. She started to give me "facts" about breastfeeding babies and "nipple confusion" and told me that I should just nurse her. Truth is, if I didn't have the pacifier my daughter would have been nursing for 20 hours out of the day. I just couldn't do it. Sorry, not sorry!

"Natural Birth"
You grew a baby in your body for 9+ months. The baby came out of your body at some point. Birth was given, whether it was out of your vagina or with a space probe. The only parent that did not go through a natural birth are parents that adopt their children after birth is given. 

Labelling Mothers in General is RUDE
"Well, she is this," or "she is that". Labelling is rude, why would we encourage the "crunchy" label? 

What do you think of the word "Crunchy"?

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