How to Drive in Hawaii

Many people come to Hawaii every year to visit the Island and capture it's beauty.  But if you are visiting Oahu, then you must be aware that Oahu just beat out LA for the worst traffic in the United States.  People are questioning how this could have happened.  Well, it's because it takes over an hour to drive 15 miles home from wherever you are going.  There are not many ways to get where you are going, and with so many people going to the same places at the same time of course  there is traffic.  I won't mention the controversial Rail project because people want to shoot me when I tell them it's a good idea, so instead I will give you tips on how to drive in Hawaii like a champ...

1. When getting on the highway make sure you are going about 20MPH so that way if you need to break immediately at the end of the ramp you are able to.

2. Blinkers...Pshhh you don't need those.

3.  When getting off the highway onto your ramp make sure you slow down to 40 MPH before you reach the ramp.  Preferably about a mile before hand.

4. Only drive in the left lane if you are going 5 miles under the speed limit.

5. A stop sign is exactly what it says.  Stop. Then you can go.  We don't alternate here, we just go into the intersection quicker than the other cars so they have to stop longer for me to go.

6.  Ride people's bumpers no matter what.  Even if they are going 10 miles over the speed limit.  You must not be further than a car length behind them.

7. Merge? Fuck that!  If you see your lane is closing up ahead make sure you speed up as fast as possible till you get to the very end and try to get in front of the entire line of cars that have already merged. Suckers.

8. Don't let cars coming onto the highway in front of you, no matter what.

9. Everyone hits parked cars, there is no need for a note stating you damaged their vehicle.

10. Compact spots are for every size vehicle.  If your truck bumper is sticking 6 feet out, thats the buildings problem for making their spaces so small.

11. No need to turn on your lights if it's raining, or even if its dark out.  You only need those on if it's past 8 PM.

12.  If it's raining, SLOW DOWN to 25 miles an hour on the highway.  Do this without your lights on, or flashers...because we don't do that here.

13.  Yield = Stop completely and wait for every car in sight to be off the road.

14.  Blocking the intersection is completely acceptable.



Hopefully these tips help you out on your wonderful stay to the islands.