Saturday, June 22, 2013

Not doing a good job checking off my bucket list

Holy cow.

I went on vacation with my Mom last week. I took the wrong camera with me on vacation and I can not find the plug to upload my pictures on the computer.  But just imagine, the sandy beaches of Myrtle Beach! I decided I am going to stop apologizing for not writing, because it looks like that is all that I have been doing the past few entries.
But, I have been slacking in the department of checking things off of my bucket list. (By the way I forgot to check off #79: Have a Baby, that's how busy I have been with #79).

Has everyone been as busy as I have? I don't feel like I have been busy, I feel like perhaps I have just gotten lazy and the days are just colliding into each other.  Having a baby is a lot of hard work!  When my daughter is having a hard day, I have a hard day.  When she is having a good day, then I have a good day.  We are pretty much one person right now *giggles*. There are times when we don't leave the house for multiple days in a row, because the thought of getting her prepared to go out, remembering everything we both need, and loading us in the car is over whelming.  I hope this feeling passes once she can walk. It's even harder when my husband isn't home. He has been gone since February and unfortunately he will be gone pretty much this entire year. Watching my daughter grow in front of me knowing that he is missing everything is probably one of the hardest things I will have to over come emotionally.  I feel an overwhelming flood of guilt because of it.

But with all that being said, I wouldn't change a single thing. I wouldn't change anything because the love for my husband is something that is so rare that I can wait for him to be out of the military. That date is getting closer and closer, then we can be a normal functioning family. Hopefully. But what is normal?

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